Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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