I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
