i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
