I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Randomize
