then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Randomize
