you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
