apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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