Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
