apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize