i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
