So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
