problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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