maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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