So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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