I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
