I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
