It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
