Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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