my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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