The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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