Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
