I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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