Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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