The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
