If that was your dad, he is hot
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
