..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
it's like iHOP with fire
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
