i don't like sucking hair
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
