I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
