Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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