batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
