in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You need a sexual gate keeper
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
