It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
