Do you still have your period?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
