I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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