He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Randomize
