Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
