hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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