well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
