I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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