Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
