jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize