i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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