in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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