if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
