Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
