I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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