Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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