please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
