i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.