Texts From Last Night

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  (406): View more from Montana

  I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.

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  (406): I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea. http://tfl.nu/bq8d
  Replies (7) Good night (1551) Bad night (634)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.

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  (484): Totally smoking with fifteen year olds. http://tfl.nu/wzuc
  Replies (14) Good night (910) Bad night (1254)
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  (310): View more from California

  u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.

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  (310): u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened. http://tfl.nu/5zha
  Replies (33) Good night (7209) Bad night (1137)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.

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  (216): ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1. http://tfl.nu/a49b
  Replies (59) Good night (11088) Bad night (1144)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.

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  (304): My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within. http://tfl.nu/zogn
  Replies (10) Good night (698) Bad night (3275)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He felt like a one man threesome

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  (303): He felt like a one man threesome http://tfl.nu/1ehs
  Replies (17) Good night (9075) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.

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  (484): In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas. http://tfl.nu/7vr2
  Replies (11) Good night (3278) Bad night (1276)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.

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  (202): My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation. http://tfl.nu/z4sr
  Replies (15) Good night (7275) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground

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  (415): I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground http://tfl.nu/kjbx
  Replies (7) Good night (3105) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?

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  (601): Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time? http://tfl.nu/q1z9
  Replies (7) Good night (2347) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.

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  (407): You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear. http://tfl.nu/lhty
  Replies (4) Good night (3233) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.

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  (843): It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying. http://tfl.nu/4qy7
  Replies (3) Good night (951) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.

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  (603): NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING. http://tfl.nu/lnbz
  Replies (7) Good night (1141) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".

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  (678): After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box". http://tfl.nu/z4mv
  Replies (5) Good night (1371) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry

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  (+61): Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry http://tfl.nu/2c34
  Replies (6) Good night (323) Bad night (642)

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