I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
