My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.