I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.