she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet