Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
