just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
