physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
