Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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