Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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