im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
