so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
