Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You're like the curious george of whores
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
