if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
