He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
