atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
