break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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