is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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