You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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