I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
