i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
