how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize